You weren’t born broken.
You were trained inside a system.
I help people who grew up as “the problem” see the rules they were raised under, so they can stop blaming themselves and start making deliberate choices in their own life.
Tools, guides and videos for people who grew up carrying the blame.
Real talk for people who were raised to be the problem
If you grew up managing adults’ moods, carrying the blame or being told you were too sensitive, it makes sense that you see yourself as the issue. My work puts the focus back where it belongs. On the system that trained you.
I break down:
Family systems and childhood roles
Survival rules wired into your nervous system
How those rules show up now in relationships, work and boundaries
So you can look at your life and think, “This adds up,” instead of “What is wrong with me.”
Scapegoat System Map Workbook
The Scapegoat System Map Workbook is a step-by-step process for people who grew up as the problem child, the difficult one or the one who saw too much. It helps you map the system that trained you, identify the rules that still run you and write your own “I was never the problem” brief.
With this workbook you will:
Map your family power structure and unwritten rules
Trace how the 10 Scapegoat Rules showed up in your life
Identify your main hooks, the rules your body still obeys on autopilot
Run small experiments to see what really happens when you do not obey them
Build a clear internal verdict you can come back to when guilt and doubt flare up
Introductory price. Instant digital PDF. All future updates included.
Want to start smaller
The 10 Scapegoat Rules That Prove You Were Never The Problem
This free field guide names the ten quiet rules many scapegoats grew up under. It shows how each rule protected the system, not you, and gives you prompts to notice where those rules still shape your reactions now.
You will get the PDF and be added to my email list for deeper weekly breakdowns. No fluff, no spam.
Prefer to watch first
On YouTube I walk through the same ideas in real time. Calm, blunt breakdowns of:
Scapegoat and golden child dynamics
Avoidant and fawn responses in adult relationships
Why boundaries feel like betrayal when you were raised on guilt and image management
No toxic positivity. No “just think happy thoughts”. Just clear language for what you have already lived.
Want the deeper breakdowns in your inbox
Leave your email to get the free guide and ongoing breakdowns of systems, conditioning and nervous system logic. No fluff, no spam.
Each week I send one email that pulls these patterns apart in more detail. It is where I share the pieces that are too layered for social media and updates on tools like the workbook and new guides.
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“Love this. We could definitely use more content like this in the world.”
— YouTube Viewer
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“Love your channel and your videos! You explain it so clearly.”
— YouTube Viewer
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"Perfect video—this is the best video ever made on avoidance tendency."
— YouTube Viewer
Who's behind this
I’m Nardia, the person behind Hey It’s Nardia. I spent years being told I was too sensitive, overreacting or making a fuss. Once I started pulling apart the denial, the blame-shifting and the image management in my own family, it became obvious. Nothing was wrong with my personality. I was just filling the role the system needed.
Now I make clear, no-bullshit tools for people who grew up in similar setups. Not to trap you in your past, but to give you the language and structure you never had. The point is simple. When you understand the rules you were raised under, you can stop fighting yourself and start running your life instead of the old system.
Start where you are
Whether you are still in contact, low contact, no contact or just starting to question things, you do not need another motivational quote. You need a map.
You can dive straight into the Scapegoat System Map Workbook, start with the free 10 Scapegoat Rules guide or begin by watching the Scapegoat Series on YouTube. Whatever you choose, you do not have to keep carrying this as if it was all your fault.